The ProJoey Story
by Lady of the Wolves
Summary: Why do many people hate Joey? Don't you think he deserves a chance to look good in a fic? Me neither! But watch me try...can I do it? (Don't read this if you actually like Joey!) Now...more ways Joey can die, I mean, uh, look good!
1. ProJoey 1

The Pro-Joey Story

By Lady of the Wolves

****

((WARNING: DON'T READ THIS IF YOU LIKE JOEY!))

Domino High School decided to hold a raffle to raise money for a new gym. Being so concerned for his fellow students, Joey Wheeler, good friend of Yugi, bought a ticket and found out a week later that he had won. His prize was a vacation to a tropical isle. As the trip was for four people, Joey invited his friend Yugi along with his other friends Tristan Taylor and Té a Gardner. Soon after they arrived on the beautiful island, they decided to go for a walk. The four friends were walking along the base of a mountain when a deep rumble filled the air. The mountain, which was really a volcano, suddenly erupted, throwing lava high into the air. Yugi, Tristan, Té a, and Joey quickly ran away as fast as they could from the volcano, but Joey tripped and was instantly covered by the scorching lava. 

That's not right, this is titled "The Pro-Joey Story." That was definitely not Pro-Joey. Here, I'll take another whack at it.

After a hard day of playing Duel Monsters, Joey Wheeler had really worked up a sweat. Leaving his friends, he was walking home when he decided to go for a nice swim. _It'll really cool me off_, he thought to himself as he changed into his bathing suit. He quickly grabbed his towel and walked to the beach, which was only a few blocks from his home. He had just dived into the ocean and was paddling around on his back when a Great White Shark appeared out of nowhere and bit off his leg. The shark quickly devoured Joey, who didn't even have time to scream for help, and went off to find anther meal.

I did it wrong again! Hold on, this time I'll get it right. Maybe I should get away from this beach-island thing that's going on… 

It was late one night when Joey Wheeler woke up to hear something making a sound outside his house. He thought it was a kitten mewing, so he got dressed and went outside to see what was making the noise. Joey looked around, using his flashlight to illuminate the dark yard, and soon found a small black-and-white kitten. He was going over to pick it up when he heard a loud whistling. Looking up, he saw a meteorite fly through the sky and crash into his head, where it exploded, blasting Joey into a thousand bits.

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll get it right this time! I just know it! Because…if you believe in yourself, you can do anything! (I sound like Yugi or Té a giving an encouragement speech!) Okay! Here I go!

Strong, brave, smart, and handsome Joey Wheeler was walking to school with his friend Yugi when an out-of-control garbage truck hurtled onto the road just behind them. He quickly dived across the street to push Yugi out of harm's way. Just when the truck was about to hit him, it swerved again and missed. He got up and grinned when suddenly the truck flipped over, spilling two tons of smelly garbage all over him, instantly crushing him to death.

Arg! This is impossible! But I'll have another go. I know I can do it!

Joey Wheeler and his three closest friends went to a fast food restaurant for lunch. They received their food and sat down to eat. Joey had his favorite food, a double cheeseburger with lots of onions and pickles. He took a big bite and instantly choked on a tomato. 

I refuse to give up just yet…wait, I have another idea! This will be a PRO-Joey one, I know it!

Joey Wheeler was at a party drinking punch. Several pretty girls had smiled at him and he was feeling great. He was about to go ask the blonde across the room if she wanted to dance with him when he woke up from what was obviously a dream and rolled out of bed, impaling himself on a sword he had left propped up by his bed.

No, no…but let me give it another shot, okay? Please? Just one more chance! Okay great!

It was a beautiful Saturday and friends Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, and Té a Gardner were going to the park for a picnic. (Their friend Yugi was at the dentist.) They found a nice shady spot beneath a large tree and were watching people play and throw Frisbees. Joey got up to use the bathroom and was returning when he heard a loud buzz behind him. When he turned, he saw a large model airplane heading straight toward him! With a piercing scream, he quickly ducked to the ground and saw the airplane fly straight through the spot he had just occupied. As he got up, the airplane turned around and headed straight for him again! He took off in the opposite direction, the airplane still following. The sharp metal blades of its front propeller whirred threateningly. The plane chased him all through the park before chasing him right off a cliff. Joey screamed for a long time before he smashed into the sharp rocks far below. 

Fine. I just can't do it. Maybe I'll go write something else…if you really want something where Joey looks good, I suggest you look elsewhere.

Thank you very much. Please review! With no flames, that is: I warned you!


	2. ProJoey 2

The Pro-Joey Story: Chapter Two

By Lady of the Wolves

Author's Note: Come on, it has to be possible for me to write SOMETHING pro-Joey…so here I go again!

It was late when Joey Wheeler arrived home. He had spent the entire rainy Saturday in a virtual game world, trying to rescue his enemy, Seto Kaiba, with his friends Yugi, Mai, and Mokuba. He was tired and feeling sweaty and dirty from the rain and puddles he had splashed through while running home, so he decided to relax in a nice, soothing bubble bath. He drew himself a nice, hot bath and poured half a box of bubble mix into the tub before slowly easing himself into it with a contented sigh. He soaked comfortably for a few minutes before he discovered he was starving, as he hadn't eaten all day. Hopping out of the tub, Joey wrapped himself in a towel and rushed downstairs to gather what he would need to make himself a snack. He brought his supplies back into the bathroom, where he got back in the tub and proceeded to make himself toast. Electric current zapped out of the toaster through the water and into Joey at 500 volts, instantly electrocuting him.

What? That was awful! I don't even think Joey's THAT dumb…let me try again.

Second-place Duel Monsters Champion Joey Wheeler's biology class was on a field trip to the zoo. Joey walked around with his best friends Yugi, Tristan, and Tea, learning about animals and having a great time. Joey's favorite animals were the polar bears, especially the one he got to feed after being selected to go onstage during a live animal show the zoo presented. The four friends decided to check out the crocodile exhibit. Leaning over the edge of the wall that overlooked the habitat, Joey and his friends gasped when they saw a small child who had fallen into the exhibit, be sighted by one of the ten-foot crocodiles. The little boy let out a loud cry and ran as fast as he could away from the huge reptile, which instantly began to chase after him. Despite the terrible danger, Joey leapt into the exhibit, trying to save the young child by distracting the crocodile. His plan worked, and the crocodile immediately came after him, attacked him, chewed him up, and swallowed him before Joey could move.

I don't think crocodiles eat humans…do they? That was terrible, anyway, but don't worry, I have another great idea! Ready? Okay!

Joey Wheeler was invited to the circus by his friend Yugi Moto. The two had front-row seats, and Joey was lucky enough to be chosen as an audience member volunteer to be shot as a human cannonball out of a giant cannon into a huge, springy net. Joey was adorned with all the necessary safety gear, and was "loaded" into the cannon with help of the circus staff. Unfortunately, just as the cannon fired, the man in charge of aiming it sneezed and repositioned it upward, so Joey was shot through the roof of the tent. Sailing high through the air, he collided dead-on with a passenger jet.

That's not right, people can't be shot that high! These are ridiculous, maybe I need to get into something more down-to-earth…okay, I have an idea!

It was a normal, sunny day after school, and Joey was walking home. He was happy because it was a Friday and he had no homework. He planned to head over to his friend Yugi's home to play some Duel Monsters games after he dropped off his stuff at his house. As he skipped along, whistling a cheerful tune, a crack suddenly opened in the earth in his path and Joey feel deep into the chasm, screaming loudly.

….Yeah. Don't worry, this next one's much more realistic, I'm sure Joey will survive!

Joey Wheeler woke up with a start just as the clock chimed midnight. He got out of bed and hurried to his window. Far off in the distance, he could see flames. He quickly changed into his clothes and left his house, running to a nearby gas station to see what was going on. The gas station was swarming with police officers. "What's happening?" he asked a police officer, who was eating a donut.

"Nothing here to see, kid, go home!" the officer barked, picking up his walkee-talkee and shouting into it. Joey sighed and decided to go home, wishing he could help. As he trudged away from the gas station, however, he spotted a figure walking through the fog of the night. _It looks like a girl_, he thought, squinting in the darkness. As the figure approached, Joey could clearly see that it was Carietta White, a girl from his school. As she walked closer, seeming to be in a trance, the electrical wires above fell down on top of the gas station and it blew up everyone and everything within a thirty-foot radius.

Ignore that Carrie/Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover. Carrie doesn't go to Domino High…oh well. Has anyone seen that movie (Carrie)? It was okay, except the special effects were really lame…back to Joey.

Joey skipped through the field full of flowers in the bright sunshine, singing and laughing happily. Suddenly, the weather turned bad and a lightning bolt set the field on fire in an instant, burning everything to a crisp.

Just ignore that last one…I have an idea! I'll put some other characters in it…like Kaiba! Yeah, with Kaiba in it, it'll definitely be pro-Joey…right?

One day as Joey Wheeler walked home from school, a limo drove past. He was very bored, as he walked home alone, so he decided to throw a rock at the car. The rock smashed into the back window of the limo, which promptly stopped. Seto Kaiba got out of the long, sleek car and glared at Joey. "Get him!" he ordered to two of his bodyguards, who instantly went after Joey (who had tried to run away). Once at court, the judge decreed that Joey's life now belonged to Kaiba. Kaiba forced Joey to wear a dog suit for the rest of his days and to act like his loyal dog, obeying his every command.

What judge is that? Some kind of sadistic Judge Judy? Oh well…I can still not write anything where Joey looks good in it, so you'll still have to look elsewhere…unless you like to see Joey die, of course. Thank you and have a great day 0_o

Please review!


End file.
